ACK! I forgot!

Well, for all those (including me) who thought this would be me

I have news for you. As of yesterday, I have officially been a non-smoker for one month! Yes, yes, I know. I'm great... as a matter of fact, I'm

Muahahaha! Love it! I need a shirt that has this on it haha. I'll have to find one soon. Anyway, just wanted to share my super fantabulously awesome news. Hope you all have a great day!

Early Resolutions

So, I already quit smoking.. yes I am still sticking to it, and yes, I'm still awesome! But, it has had good and bad effects. The bad is that I now feel the need to lose weight, and my lazy butt don't wanna do it. The good news is that I feel the need to lose weight and I actually halfway feel like I can do it. I am considered obese. I am truly my biggest critic, and to myself I only look chubby. Still, I have a long way to go.

But the way I see it is that every pound lost is an achievement by itself. It's one more step toward being healthier. So, good news is that I have a little help. I have an online friend (who I've been friends with for about 3 years) that recently lost about 80lbs. and is passionate about helping others get healthier too. Lucky me! I now bug the crap out of her all the time, but I do know it'll calm down as I figure things out a little more. Poor Cait... having to put up with my badgering. Honestly though, I'll risk annoying her to get some help b/c goodness knows I need it!

I hate dieting, but I hate exercising even more. I'm so out of shape and even a little exercise wears me out. Cait told me to wait a month or so to start so I can get used to the eating less/healthier first. This is one of the main reasons I'm starting early. I'm trying to test the waters as far as the food stuff goes, and arming myself with knowledge about both topics. I'm one of those people that the more I know about something the more likely I am to succeed at it. Still, exercising still seems so daunting. Ugh.

Anyway, I'll keep you updated on how I'm doing. Hey, I stopped one bad habit that was really really tough to quit, I can do this right? Right! Goooooo Angel!

What's your New Years resolution?

Merry Christmas!

Sorry I've been a little MIA. I'm sure you all know how it gets around the holidays. I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas! I hope the holiday season has filled your heart with joy, and I hope you get everything you wish for.

Weird or Unique?

I am weird and quirky. I sing goofy songs all day, talk baby talk to my husband on purpose, and I make up words. Usually it's some form of the originally word, however unrecognizable to the ones who don't know me. For instance - Chowah = Shower, Manyopoli = Monopoly, and Chin knees = Chinese (Always in reference to eating Chinese food).

In light of that, I have compiled a list of my own personal weirdness for you to enjoy and/or poke fun at me about. You can trust me, though, when I say it is only the short list!

1. I hate the heel on the loaf of bread.

2. I hate ANY LITTLE SLIVER of fat on meat.

3. I can't stand it when people scrape their teeth on a utensil.

4. I also can't stand it when people chew with their mouth open/ make smacking noises.

5. I turn homicidal if I'm being stared at.

6. I have road rage. If someone pulls out in front of me and then goes slow (or any number of other things) I will tailgate, try to pass them and flip them off, or *insert other insane things here*.

7. I don't like potato salad. I live in the south, so that's almost a sin.

8. I HAVE to stop the microwave on intervals of 5.

9. I am most scared of 3 things. (If you don't include biggies like death and such). Heights, the dark, and spiders... so you can imagine how I am about the attic.

10. I can't stand for people to walk closely behind me. Even BE close behind me. I even sit with my back away from the door in every place possible.

11. I am for sure right handed, but there are a couple of things that only feel right if done with my left hand.

12. If I am eating mashed potatoes and most any other vegetable I will mix them.

13. I can't stand for a closet, cabinet, etc to be left open, even cracked.

14. I love lists. I even make lists of lists I need to make.

15. I plan months ahead for most occasions. Ex: I do one grand thing around July for my kids' birthdays... I've already bought some supplies for it.

16. I love the smell of gas and spray paint.

17. When I put something away, the labels have to be facing out. This especially applies to food.

18. I don't care how hot I am, I have to be covered at least a little at night or I can't sleep.

19. I absolutely can not stand for anyone over the age of 3 to watch me potty. Even pee. My own husband has watched me push out multiple children but has never seen me pee!

20. I cannot sleep in socks.

21. I change my hairs' style and color constantly.

22. I have a serious issue with balance. Meaning, things have to be even. If there's one of something on one side, there has to be one on the other side or the world will fall apart.

I know there's more, but a.)that's all I can think of at the moment and b.) I can always think of more and eventually you would be asking yourself  'When does it end?!' so, I'll end there.

What are your weird quirks?

As if appointments weren't hard enough.

What the crap is up with doctors' offices thinking it's ok now-a-days to reschedule constantly. I have one place that I go that I had to sign a form saying if I didn't reschedule at least 5 hours before my appointment time, I would be charged for the visit anyway. The same said office reschedules me almost every single appointment! So I guess my question is: On the days where it's not at least 5 hours before, can I charge them? Yeah, didn't think so.

The reason for today's rant is because this specific doctor's office (not the one above) that I'm going to today has rescheduled me 3 times. I know I'm probably being just a tad touchy here, but since when is that ok? If I were to do that I'm pretty sure people would start getting upset... and I'm the "CUSTOMER"! I thought it was customary for the one providing services to actually be where they say they're going to be when they say they're going to be there. It goes along with the I show up for my appointment at 1:00 and am still sitting in the waiting room at 2:30. Yeah, pretty sure if I showed up an hour and a half late they wouldn't see me, but boy howdy they can do it! Anyway, that's for another day.

I have to go start getting ready for this appointment in about 10 minutes. Want to know why I'm having to do this before my coffee has fully kicked in? Because people are jackholes that's why! I have a no-appointments-before-nap time rule. At least one if not both boys are always up by at least 7:00.  Then we have breakfast, changing clothes and diapers, washing hands and faces, cleaning table and dishes etc, cleaning table, sweeping floor.. you get the picture. For some reason the boys think meal time is war time. War on my floor, table, their clothes, their hair, you name it. So yeah, it takes me forever to clean up after.

Then when I'm all ready to sit back down and rest a while, they're ready to be played with.  30 minutes of that and it's time to get Reid ready for nap. Yeah I can't believe it either. Reid normally goes down for a nap around 11:00-ish and sleeps for about 2 hours. James goes down for his nap no earlier than 12:00 and sleeps for about an hour. If I can't get him down before 1:00 and I have an appointment he doesn't get his nap, which is fine with him. Me, not so much.

Anyway, the point of all that is to say... my appointment is at 10:00 frickin' a.m. today. Not so horribly, terribly, awfully bad.. but then school is back in session today, only 2 hours late. So, I get to leave at 9:15 to get Mae to school by 9:30 and then make it to my appointment at 10:00. Shoot me? I don't DO mornings.

I'm aware that there are those that get up at the butt-crack of dawn and have established world peace by 10:00, but I'm not one of them and if you feel the need to rub it in my face you can go suck an egg.

Let it snot, let it snot, let it snot!

Hi all. Just wanted to let you know that My weekend has officially started off in the direction of the "this sucks hall of fame". 

First it snowed. Then it snowed some more. Then when it stopped snowing, it started again. Tennessee does not usually see a lot of snow and it definitely does not do so in December. As a general rule, we might see a flurry or two toward the end of December. Maaayyyybee even a light dusting if we cross our eyes and spin around three times. But January - Yes, that's when the snow hits. Even then most of the time it doesn't get above 4 to 5 inches.. generally.


Well, Ol' Man Winter (or maybe that creepy snowman off of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)

decided that this year in the middle of December he was going to plop over a foot of snow on us. Oh, but it's pretty and the kids love to play in it you say? Yes, I have to agree that it is pretty. As far as the kids playing in it, that's a joke! First, I do not play in snow.

I must have ancestors that come from the tropics b/c my booty stays bundled up during the winter.

Wait, you're not getting the picture. Imagine everyone   lovingly sitting in the living room   err.. arguing over the remote and look! Over in the corner is mom, ready to climb Everest! Yeah, that's me. Anyway - I make snow cream and hot chocolate until it's coming out of my ears every year. That's as close as I get to snow.

Travis did take all the kids out when it first started snowing when there was like 3" on the ground. James and Reid both started whining the minute they got out there and were back inside within 5 minutes. That's a good thing in my eyes though. If I hadn't been napping when this little escapade happened, I would've vetoed it anyway. Both boys are sick. Especially Reid who is on antibiotics and breathing treatments.. soo yeah. But dad was trying to be nice so I buttoned it. And, of course, Mae will not go outside without Travis or I out there. She's the same way in the summer. I don't get it. I couldn't wait for summer so I could spend hours outside without my mom up my butt watching over me. She's weird.

Oh, and you know how I said the boys were sick? Theirs was snots and the crud as I call it. What I developed yesterday, however, is a lovely stomach bug! Yay! So, I've been up running to the restroom ALL. NIGHT. LONG (and still going) and dealing with 2 sick boys. Plus, the only one who isn't sick is out of school because of the friggin' snow! 

 
Um, and one more thing. Sometime during the night the heat decided to glitch out on us, and we woke up to a house that was below 60 degrees.

To me this is reaching arctic levels since it seems I have no blood. I am now sitting with the oven open to heat my 2500 sq ft home. Everyone has on about 10 layers of clothes and, needless to say, I am dying! The kids are all running around like it's all toasty in here while I feel like my fingers are going to break. The dude will be here before lunch and I'm pretty happy about that. Now if I can just keep all my body parts the right color until he gets here.

A twofer!

I realize I already posted once today, but I just had to share a short post. As of an hour from now, I will have been a non smoker for exactly one week!!

Woot! I love it! I still crave them, and sometimes it gets bad, but I'm hanging tough. I'm so proud of me!

Let it snow... not!

Look, I like snow as much as the next person. It's a beautiful sight, it's fun, and I love making snow cream and hot chocolate.

I don't like the cold at all, but I can deal with it. However, there is one thing that truly irks me about it snowing. The schools. They're all, "Oh no! We have flurries! Must. Cancel. School."

Oh, no-no-no-no-no! A light dusting is not reason to call off school. I depend on school being open in order for me to keep my sanity! It's bad enough you won't keep her during the summer. Grr... Judge me if you want to, but if you lived with Mae you would understand.

But that's not my biggest issue with snow days. No, that would be these little going to hours late days or coming home early days. Mae gets taken to school every day, but rides the bus home in the evening so I don't have to... ummm... go get her. Ok, that sounds bad. It's just the boys nap ends about 2.3 seconds before I would have to leave, and putting them to sleep earlier or getting them up earlier isn't really an option. Trust me. Plus there's the fact that Tennessee has exactly 3 kinds of weather. Burning hot, raining, or cold as ice. Not really great conditions to be getting 2 toddlers out in. Anyway.

So, yeah. Back to my peeve. When they go late or get let out early, we the parents have to take them or pick them up. First of all, if it's too dangerous for a big ol' bus to bring them home, it's not going to be any safer for my minivan.

And the children at school have to get home one way or another, and it puts them in danger for anyone to drive on the ice (or flurries), but why put my boys and anyone else's kids in danger too by having to travel to get the kids. And I've always wondered about 1 car families. Or families that have a broken vehicle. I mean, what do they do? Walk? Ugh!

Ok, end rant. Snow and such has started earlier this year, so I think we're in for a rough winter.. Oh goody...

Woot!

Ok, if I wasn't the shiznit before, I soooo am now. I now feel comfortable enough to say that I am a non-smoker! I have not smoked for 60 hours!!

I'm doing rather well too! Oh, I wasn't at first, but we won't talk about that. Noo... that's got way too much blood and gore in it. Lets talk about now where I am doing pretty well, and only have the big cravings sometimes, and are handled by me doing a cleaning spree.

My husband is sad because this cleaning spree only lasts 30 minutes to an hour at the most. I, on the other hand, am thrilled! No smoking and a clean (ok, clean-ER) house?! In the words of the Miz... I'm the mom, and I'm awesome! Of course, this is causing me to be a touch neurotic... but it's the price you pay. Aaaannndd of course, I've replace one bad habit with another. COFFEE.

Don't get me wrong. I love, love, loved coffee before, but NOW..... Oh. My. Gawd! I wouldn't have made it through the first day without it.  I'm all -

of course I'm balanced... I do have one in each hand, duh! ( Yes, I'm aware I add lots of random pics. I see them, and I go - I like this one, I like that one, oh oh gotta have that one. hehe. Oh well )

I'm going to feel really stupid if I relapse. Yes, I know that's a term most addicts use. I am an addict. Thanks to having a mother that smoked and a sister 8 years older than me with friends that smoked I started smoking when I was only 8 years old. By the time I was 10 I was smoking a pack a day... That means I've been smoking for almost 20 years!

I did quit all the way one other time... When I was pregnant with Michael. I started back the night he died. It's been a big part of my comforting when it comes to losing him and I haven't been able to completely stop since. Please don't lecture me. I'm trying. It's been hard. Not a good excuse, I know. But it's the only one I have.

Anyway. I can truthfully say that already I am seeing the positive effects of quitting. My sense of smell has picked up greatly, and I can taste things a lot better. For instance. Yesterday we ordered pizza. I was across the room getting plates and realized I could smell the banana pepper in the box! Usually I can be standing over the open box and not smell it. Then last night hubby cooked dinner while I went to the store. (I think he'd rather pull his nails out with pliers before shopping) One of the things we had was corn. While eating I sat there and took in the fact that it tasted different. I thought maybe he had used canned instead of frozen like we normally do, thus causing a different taste. But no, he said he hadn't. It had a LOT more flavor! Weird.

Sooo, yeah. So far I'm rockin' it out, and so incredibly proud of myself. It's so liberating. I've been chained to this addiction for so long! I've felt like a failure my entire teenage and adult life. I know that sounds heavy, but it's the honest truth. Doing this.... it's such a big thing to me. It's something for all of my family, but really, mostly for me. It's been so long since I've done something for myself. And it's been a long time since I've had a reason to be truly proud of myself. (Other than raising amazing kids!) This is a great thing even on the surface, but I feel something much more powerful and momentous brewing. I finally feel like I've taken a little power back in my life, and that's quite a feat.

What about you? Is there anything you've overcome? Is there something you've experience that was truly powerful?