Monday, November 8, 2010

Verbal Diarrhea!

You know what I think is strange? That everyone I have ever talked to on this subject thinks it's crazy how people can't mind their own business and/or make stupid (duh!) remarks, yet I still get this constantly from strangers. Are my friends just super cool and happen to be the only ones on earth that realize it's not kosher to point out how a pregnant woman's butt has spread or that a man's hair is too thin for his age? (Poor hubby has gotten this one and unfortunately I've gotten the first one.) Let me explain.

I was out today running a gabillion (ok four, but c'mon! I had all 3 kids with me!) errands with my kids and at each place at least one person referenced how many kids I have or something to do with them. Here's my list.

**My doctor's appointment: From a woman in the waiting room - "Man! Are ALL of them yours?"  Me - "Um.. yeah." (You'd think I was one of the Duggar parents)

**Wally World: Check out girl - "How many kids do you have?" Me - "Four." (My standard response. If you've read my first blog you know I don't leave Michael out.) Check out girl - "Oh wow! How do you DO it?!" Me - "I manage." (Good grief, what does she want me to say? "Well, I don't usually bring them with me. Normally I just give them tranquilizers and leave them passed out in the living room while I do my shopping, but my delivery of syringes won't be in until tomorrow" *sigh*)

**Good Will: Woman putting clothes on racks - "Oh what cute children. Niece and nephews?" Me - "No. They're mine." Woman - "Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that you look awfully young to have so many." I smile and walk away.  On one hand it's a compliment. On the other hand, what the heck! Ok, I know I've been poppin' them out like nobody's business, but you'd think I was part rabbit the way these people look at me all bug eyed over 3! *double sigh*

**Sam's Club: Going into the store a man saw me getting kids strapped in what I like to call the station buggy. (Short for station wagon + buggy) You know, one of those carts with the extra parts in the front for kids to sit that makes it feel like you're the most uncool person on the planet.

Frick, back on subject. Ok so he sees me and asks me if I need help. I say no thanks and so he says, "Oh, well you sure have your hands full. I don't know how you do it." Goodness, there's that again. *Note to self - Must look into this tranquilizer stuff*

Then we go in, do our thing and get int the shortest line. Meaning the one that's only out to the parking lot instead of across town. I'm busy losing my ever lovin' mind, because lets face it. By now my boys are in true melt down mode, there are no snacks left, cups drained, diapers bulging, and overdue for a nap. Greeaaat.

So yeah, I get up to the register and see an old friend acquaintance person I put up with because she was a friend of one of my friends. She says, "Hey! I haven't seen you in forever! How have you been!" Me - "Ok, you?" Her (looks into the station buggy) - "How many you have now?" Me - "Four."  Her - "Four?! You've had THREE kids since I saw you last?!"  Me - "Yeah, I've been busy." Her - "I'll say! God, I sure hope you're done!"

Ooooo Kaaay... I'm pretty drained by now, my "way too many kids" are going ape sh*t, and I've had enough. I said, "Nooo... I was just telling Travis yesterday that I'm ready for another!" *shocked look from her*  Me - "Ok, not really, but man you really have no leash on your mouth. You should really think before you speak you a**wipe." And I promptly turned and left, wheeling my whining daughter and two monster boys away in that detestable station buggy.

This is just one day out with my kids. And I get this Every.Flippin'.Time. Why?! And what the crap goes through peoples' brains before they say these things. Nothing I bet. I bet they just don't think about it at all and out it comes. Kind of tells you something about people doesn't it? I mean, do these people walk up to cancer patients undergoing chemo and let them know that the no hair look is so last week? Hmph.

What do you think? Does anyone you know suffer from this verbal diarrhea? Any similar stories? Comment and tell me your thoughts on the subject.

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1 comment:

  1. Weeeell, you know me... I told you already that I've gotten everything from the "babies having babies" speech from the lady at KFC to a lady at Walmart implying that my daughter must not belong to my husband because she doesn't really look like him. People are crazy!
    I love the new blog. Keep at it, girl!